


Inappropriate Knowledge

by RandomPanda



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Humor, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 23:31:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14175714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomPanda/pseuds/RandomPanda
Summary: During dinner one night, Elise grows curious about the low-tier kind of forbidden knowledge.





	Inappropriate Knowledge

Elise snapped to attention when something or other caused Corrin’s eyes to bulge and her fingers to snap. “Ooh, ooh, Leo! You mean like that book we found when we were little, right?”

Leo set his fork on his plate, eyeing the middle sister with a quirked brow. “Which book?” Then his entire posture went rigid, far more than usual, before he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Oh, gods. You don’t mean—”

Corrin gave a nod and almost doubled over, barely containing a giggle fit. “Yeah, the not-appropriate one!”

Xander and Camilla froze in place, and the latter paled. Elise had no idea what set them on edge, but this Not Appropriate Book sounded _much_ more interesting than whatever they were discussing just before. As the youngest of the five, her curiosity surged like lightning.

Elise lowered her soup spoon and edged closer to the table. “Was this book really not so… appropriate?”

“No,” Leo answered flatly. “That book wasn’t right for children.”

“Or for adults,” added Corrin.

“It wasn’t right for _anyone_ ,” said Camilla.

Xander shook his head. “It should never have been in the fortress library—or anywhere in Nohr.”

Every part of Elise remained still except her eyes, which swiveled between Corrin and Leo, and then Xander and Camilla. Corrin fidgeted from all her tittering while the others didn’t move. To Elise’s surprise, Leo shook with subtle laughter, too. Still, though… a book even her big brother and sister found repulsive?

“It couldn’t have been _that_ bad, could it?” The youngest plopped against the back of her chair, glancing at her siblings. “What was in it?”

Camilla gasped, and a hand flew to her mouth. “You don’t want to know. You’re too young!”

A pout contorted Elise’s face. “Hey, I came of age two days ago; you can’t say I’m ‘too young’ anymore.”

“Yes, I can.”

“Where’d this book come from? Where’d you find it? Can I see it?”

“No!” cried Leo.

By this point, Corrin laughed outright but soon calmed herself. “To your first two questions… Leo and I were in the library on the third floor. Xander and Camilla told us to stay there and wait for them to come back.” With a tap on her cheek and a glance at Leo, Corrin asked, “How old were we?”

“Er…” Leo’s eyes darted a bit without focusing on anything, then tilted his head. “I think I was seven…? Definitely not old enough for _that_ book.”

“Then I must’ve been eight,” said Corrin, facing Elise again. “So anyway, Leo and I poked around the shelves for something to read, and we found this one book with nothing written on the cover.”

“No title, no author. Just a blank leather cover.” Leo crossed his arms and put on his deep-in-thought frown, paying little attention to everyone else. “Anyway, I don’t know how the book arrived at the Northern Fortress, but we found it and opened it up.” In a blink, his face turned beat red. “It definitely wasn’t short on pictures.”

“That’s one way to put it. Really detailed pictures, too! But since we were so young, we didn’t quite understand what was up with them. It had, uh… a lot of birthday suits.” Corrin placed her arms over her gut, shaking with more giggles. “It made us laugh so much, so hard…!” A howling tide of cackles overtook the dining room.

Leo lowered his head, but it did nothing to stop his own sniggering. “Why did you have to say, ‘hard?’”

Xander’s jaw popped open. “Corrin! Leo! Stop this at once!”

The younger brother laughed louder, all inhibitions gone. Meanwhile, Elise tried to imagine the kinds of exotic and exciting pictures her siblings had seen, but nothing clear solidified.

Camilla shared an apologetic look marred by an amused smile. “They laughed just like this. Xander and I were making our way through the hall when we heard these two munchkins cry out. We started running because we thought something might’ve happened to them, but no… they were laughing. They calmed down once they saw us, and Xander asked what made them so noisy all of a sudden.”

The older brother sighed, eyes cast on his plate. “I shouldn’t have asked. What Corrin and Leo showed me then was the most inappropriate of inappropriate books.”

“An apt description,” said Leo.

“Yes, and Camilla and I took it away from here at once.”

Corrin’s constant chortling waned enough for her to point to Xander. “Then it turned into keep away! Because we tried to get the book back!” And her chortling returned in earnest.

Elise felt the corners of her mouth spread wider and wider before joining in the laughter with Corrin and Leo. “So this book was _so_ bad, Xander banned it and Camilla thought it was too spicy? Oh, boy, I _have_ to see this now!”

The older sister wagged her finger at the youngest. “Well, you’re not going to because we threw it away.”

Elise slid back. “You’re no fun.”

“This is not about fun. We’re protecting you from dangerous material,” said Xander.

“It wasn’t one of Father’s, was it?” asked the youngest.

A rare sight occurred then: Xander shuddered. “I have no idea, and I hope I never find out.” Once recovered, he motioned for everyone to face him, which even the ever laughing Corrin managed after a moment’s pause. They stayed quiet a second longer before the older brother spoke in his stern commander’s voice. “From now on, any mention of that most inappropriate book is forbidden.”

Elise slapped the table. “Aw, Xander! Come on!”

But his tone remained steady. “It is forbidden. As of right now.”

Leo and Corrin slumped in their seats, but Elise was certain she slumped much more than they did. She couldn’t help but feel a smidge of defeat on hearing the edict, even if it carried a hint of amusement.

Elise turned back to her soup, stirring it with her spoon. “Darn. If it’s not here anymore, I’ll never see it myself.”

Corrin touched her shoulder, calming down at last and betraying a sheepish smile. “You’re better off not knowing.”

Elise nodded and dropped the subject, at least for now. She’d try again another day.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't know the actual age differences between any of the characters. I just made something up.
> 
> I also don't know what's in that book, but I'm pretty sure Garon needs an ID for it.


End file.
